Notable Pastries
Quick, roll out the Twinkie-mobiles!
the shadows may have a chocolate car but we have this
i give you TWINKIE HENGE
Viagra ice cream…
Viagra has a flavor??? /Shocked/ Ewww…
the Beacon of Light's Coffee Cream Brulee +5 weapon of diabetic coma.
White Chocolate Creme Brulee. Ultimate Light dessert
Lightness factors:
White chocolate= +4. Blowtorch: +10. Fattiness= +4. Sugar= +5.
Total: 23.
Owned.
(In reply to deep fried Mars bars) Escalation…
Cannoli, Go!
and…
(In reply to "We are legion…) "We light side have our army as well:
Now I can gain 10 lbs. and jump higher at the same time!
The propoganda department was hard at work…
Can someone say arteriosclerosis…?
and more of our "lightside" troops:
look at our new team guard-dog, (its for the moat, bet you can guess what fills the moat!)
The propoganda machine (Albany):
Now, as the last 24 pages of mindless pastry wars have told us, the good, holy Beacons of Light dine upon Twinkies - light cakes filled with creamy, delicious creme.
Dark, malignant, cancerous Shadows in Darkness, however, dine upon Ho-Hos, black trash bags filled with disgusting, putrid ooze.
I know - and I'm sure most pet owners know this as well - that chocolate, the key ingredient in these Ho-Hos, are like kryptonite to cute, innocent little puppies like this one.
Vanilla, on the other hand - which has been associated with the pure men of the Beacons since the beginning of this thread ten days ago - has never been linked to the suffering of cute, sleeping animals.
Think about that, new recruits.
Think about those puppies.
Join the Beacons of Light today.
Call us Legion for we are many…
And now, we have the backing of the six amnesiacs, and the ancient Greeks:
Look at what the despicable ho-hos have done!! This is low, even for you.
Wear your promotional banner with pride!
This is what happens when the Shadow's indentured servants don't listen.
The world is in peril with you arse eaters trying to eat everything. I just found hidden footage of what they intend to do when they run out of bunnies/puppies. Link.
You have just activated my TRAP CARD! Go, Golden Sponge Twinkies of Sweet Artificially Flavoured Banana Cream and attack his life points directly!
whoever said Light cant be 'sexy'?
Washington, D.C. — Reports today confirmed that Nostradamus, prophet and intellectual, has indeed foreseen the Beacons of Light winning the Pastry Wars of 2008.
"The prophecy has actually been known about since the mid-1960s," said a representative from the Washington Museum of Prophecies and Mumbo-Jumbo. "It was not until recently, when fights broke out concerning the validity of the Twinkie/Ho-Ho skirmishes seen across the Eastern seaboard over the last week, that the prophecy was re-examined in light of the new events."
The prophecy, previously contained in the Washington museum's public gallery, has been moved to the central offices in New York for further examination. Museum representatives say that a full report will be released mid-next week.
According to a photograph released on Tuesday of the prophecy on it's original tablet, the prophecy reads, "Pellentesque eleifend dui. Mauris a nunc. Sed a diam. Sed blandit, dolor eget rutrum euismod, metus justo suscipit urna, ut elementum velit elit at nisl. Nam a arcu et nunc ultrices ultricies. Phasellus volutpat auctor diam. Donec cursus ante sed augue. Duis vehicula mauris sit amet lorem," which, literally translated, means, "The Shadows of Darkness suck. The Beacons of Light are gonna kick their asses for sure."
A spokesman from the Beacons of Light confirmed the reports and gave the Beacon's response at a press conference twelve hours after the information hit the press. "We Beacons have always known that we were definitely going to kick the Shadow's ass. I mean, come on. Look at us. We're totally more awesome and cool."
The Shadows of Darkness have yet to make a statement.
Let the pastries run,
let all the twinkies
fight the ho ho’s.
Come, the pastries war’s ahead.Golden twinkies fried,
the morning pie
the cream that fills them,
and syrup covers all
with a song.It's asking for the baking.
Trembling, shaking.
Oh, my heart is aching.We're coming to the fridge,
running on the oven,
coming through the flour,
we’ll bake you over.
Friends, Beacons, crusaders, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Shadows, not to praise them.
The Ho-Hos that men eat live after them;
The Twinkies are oft lost for great justice;
So let it be with Shadows. The noble Beacons
Hath told you the Shadows were totally lame:
If it were so, it was absolutely true,
And grievously hath the Darkness answer'd it.
Here, under leave of the Light and the rest -
For Beacons are all honourable people;
So are they all, all honourable indeed -
Come I to speak in Shadow's funeral.
They were no friends of mine, stupid and lame:
But the Light says he was totally sucky;
And Beacons are always totally right.
They hath brought many captive Twinkies home to uF,
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
What the crap, man? What gives?
When that the Twinkie-less have cried, the Shadows cheered:
How totally lame are they? Seriously?
Yet the Light says the Shadows are festering piles of pus;
And Beacons are always spot-on with that sort of stuff.
You all did see that on the evocation
We Beacons fought for our place in N&R;
Did a single Shadow stray from their Ho-Hos to stand?
And the Light says they are sweaty, gross old men;
And, sure, they are wiser than any of us.
I speak not to simply poke fun at the Shadows,
But completely obliterate their standing.
You all did love Ho-Hos once, even though they suck;
I mean, come on. They're disgusting. But hark,
O judgment! thou art fled to kill all Shadows,
And men who have lost their reason. Bear with me;
The Light still stands strong, united under white cake,
And forever here it shall remain…
